In the new green environment of Congress and the Obama Administration, legislation is being passed to control how we use products that impact the planet. When the Cap and Trade was proposed, Republican Roy Blunt said, "Taxes on air my ass!" This gave the Democratic leadership in congress what they believe is a brilliant idea.
"Americans use too much toilet paper," said Harry Reid. "They don't consider how these big wads of paper clog up our sewer systems and put strain on our water treatment systems. They also don't consider how many trees have to be cut down in order to wipe their asses. This selfish lack of consideration for our environment is partially responsible for the global warming / climate change crisis."
New regulations are being put on the toilet paper industry so that 2 ply toilet paper will be banned, and biodegradability will be more important than softness. It has also been proposed to put a per sheet tax on the toilet paper to ensure that Americans are not using more than they need. Questions arose on how to manage this in public restrooms and the suggestion was made to install automatic, coin operated dispensers. These will not be installed in the Capital building or in any other restroom utilized by Government officials and their staff. However, Lindsey Graham (R) offered an alternative stating that we use the numerous copies of the stimulus package as a toilet paper alternative. He said, "all that bill was good for was wiping our asses anyway."
The toilet paper industry is just the first in many publicly owned companies that the Congress will now attempt to design products for. They have decided that they can't get us to buy what they want us to so they will ensure that any undesirable products are no longer created. Enjoy that 2 ply soft toilet paper while you can. If Congress didn't chap your ass before, the certainly will soon.
Showing posts with label political humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label political humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Wanda Sykes Sums Up The Administration
In the midst of her racially based jokes and tasteless jabs at Rush Limbaugh, at the White House Correspondence Dinner Wanda Sykes actually made a perfect analogy for the administration.
While attempting to poke fun at Dick Cheney for wanting to show the information we received through the enhanced interrogation techniques, Ms Sykes said that was like robbing a bank and saying "But look at the bills I paid." But isn't that exactly what the current administration is doing? Whenever they are questioned or criticized for the amount of money they are spending and the debt they are creating they respond with "but look at the great stuff we're doing." Very similar to justifying paying your bills with stolen money. The only difference is that instead of robbing a bank (they're taking those over instead) they're robbing the American people. And all to say "but look what I did with the money I stole from you."
The problem is that Ms Sykes, and too many others at the dinner, didn't see the reality in her joke. And what is happening is not funny. If the spending spree and the robbing of the American people continue, we may end up following Iceland's lead and be forced to declare the country bankrupt.
While attempting to poke fun at Dick Cheney for wanting to show the information we received through the enhanced interrogation techniques, Ms Sykes said that was like robbing a bank and saying "But look at the bills I paid." But isn't that exactly what the current administration is doing? Whenever they are questioned or criticized for the amount of money they are spending and the debt they are creating they respond with "but look at the great stuff we're doing." Very similar to justifying paying your bills with stolen money. The only difference is that instead of robbing a bank (they're taking those over instead) they're robbing the American people. And all to say "but look what I did with the money I stole from you."
The problem is that Ms Sykes, and too many others at the dinner, didn't see the reality in her joke. And what is happening is not funny. If the spending spree and the robbing of the American people continue, we may end up following Iceland's lead and be forced to declare the country bankrupt.
Obama Compares Himself to God
At the White House Correspondence Dinner President Obama, while cracking jokes, compared himself to God. Unfortunately this is a comparison that, to him, isn't really a joke.
Patting himself on the back for what he accomplished in his first hundred days, he said he would do so much better in the next hundred that he would complete it in 72 days. And on the 73rd day he'd rest. Like God on the 7th day. So is Obama saying he is God? I think he believes that he is all powerful and all seeing. After all, he believes that he is the only one with the answer to the World's problems. Sounds like a God complex to me.
At a correspondence dinner packed with as many Hollywood celebrities as reporters, Obama thanked them all for voting for him, apologizing only to the Fox News table. So now we see why the President stated that we are not a Christian country. This is because he believes we worship him, or at least because he believes we should.
What I found the most entertaining though, was the joke that he would learn to go off the teleprompter. This was entertaining because he was reading the joke off of the teleprompter.
So what's next? Will he condemn so evil "hedge funds" who forced Chrysler into bankruptcy to wander the desert for the next 40 years?
Patting himself on the back for what he accomplished in his first hundred days, he said he would do so much better in the next hundred that he would complete it in 72 days. And on the 73rd day he'd rest. Like God on the 7th day. So is Obama saying he is God? I think he believes that he is all powerful and all seeing. After all, he believes that he is the only one with the answer to the World's problems. Sounds like a God complex to me.
At a correspondence dinner packed with as many Hollywood celebrities as reporters, Obama thanked them all for voting for him, apologizing only to the Fox News table. So now we see why the President stated that we are not a Christian country. This is because he believes we worship him, or at least because he believes we should.
What I found the most entertaining though, was the joke that he would learn to go off the teleprompter. This was entertaining because he was reading the joke off of the teleprompter.
So what's next? Will he condemn so evil "hedge funds" who forced Chrysler into bankruptcy to wander the desert for the next 40 years?
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